Monday, January 18, 2016

100 Mining Jobs for a Stultifying Corporate Future

Next month at Bash Con in Toledo I'm going to run zero-level funnel of a mining disaster on Jupiter's moon Ganymede.

Here is a table of 100 mining occupations for the 23nd Century:

  1. Accountant
  2. HR Assistant
  3. Staffing Manager
  4. Recruiter
  5. HR Coordinator
  6. HR Manager
  7. HR Director
  8. Safety Regulations Compliance Officer
  9. Finance and Securities Compliance Officer
  10. Health and Wellness Compliance Officer
  11. Nurse Practitioner
  12. Psychological Well Being Consultant
  13. Efficiency and Process Throughput Consultant
  14. Motivation and Personal Productivity Consultant
  15. Onsite Marketing Consultant
  16. Advertising Research Consultant
  17. Public Relations Assistant
  18. Public Program Engagement Specialist
  19. Reputation Network Enhancement Associate
  20. Public Relations Intern
  21. Public Relations Associate
  22. Public Relations Coordinator
  23. Public Relations Director
  24. Cafeteria Services Personnel
  25. Cafeteria Safety Compliance Officer
  26. Food Services Logistics Manager
  27. Assistant to the Vice President of Logistics and Fulfilment
  28. Process Control Specialist
  29. Treasury Analyst
  30. Mineral Processing Efficiency Analyst
  31. Learning Coordinator
  32. Continuing Geological Education Supervisor
  33. Postdoctoral Research Fellow
  34. Research Institution Cooperation Liaison
  35. Long Range Maintenance Planner
  36. Workflow Superintendent
  37. Process Operator
  38. Process Efficiency Optimization Specialist
  39. Data Entry Clerk
  40. Atmospheric Data Collection Array Technician
  41. Surface-Orbit Communication Tech
  42. Long Range Communication Tech
  43. Earth Communication Tech
  44. Surface Vehicle Operator
  45. Surface Vehicle Maintenance Tech
  46. Subsurface Maintenance Vehicle Operator
  47. Subsurface Maintenance Vehicle Maintenance Technician
  48. Surface to Orbit Pipeline Integrity Officer
  49. Desalinization Operations Technician
  50. Water Safety Testing Officer
  51. Corporate Communication Specialist
  52. Information Security Coordinator
  53. Information Technology Application Security Analyst
  54. Informations Systems Auditor
  55. Shipping and Receiving Compliance Auditor
  56. Corporate Outlook and Securitization Maximization Chief Strategist
  57. Director of Planning for Associate Enrichment
  58. Operational Excellence Assurance Coordinator
  59. Refreshment and Nutrition Supervisor
  60. Civil and Corporate Policy Enforcement Officer
  61. Outplacement Optimization Specialist
  62. Information Technology Application Security Analyst
  63. AI/Machine Learning Enhancement Specialist
  64. Robotics Hardware Support Technician
  65. Water Extraction Development Custodian
  66. Fusion Reactor Maintenance Associate
  67. Fusion Reactor Maintenance Coordinator
  68. Fusion Reactor Efficiency Consultant
  69. Energy Systems Efficiency Guru
  70. Conduit Maintenance Machinery Upkeep Technician
  71. Emergency Medical Situation Mitigation Facilitator
  72. Accidental Energy Output Dispersal Specialist
  73. Geological Cartographic Information Systems Architect
  74. Network and Systems Administrator
  75. Network Surveillance Compliance Officer
  76. Horticultural Maintenance Engineer
  77. Unauthorized Biological Contamination Containment Systems Upkeep Manager
  78. Chief Biomist
  79. Life Support Systems Administrator
  80. Chief Technician of Hydrology Systems
  81. Accounts Receivable Associate
  82. Billing Coordinator
  83. Accounts Optimization Analyst
  84. Team Skill Placement Optimization Facilitator
  85. Price standardization Compliance Associate
  86. Reputation Assignment Assurance Representative
  87. Entrepreneurial Spirit Encouragement Counsellor
  88. Self Motivation Compliance Provider
  89. Pharmaceutical Tracking Compliance Officer
  90. Waste Reprocessing Technician
  91. Waste Reprocessing Efficiency Manager
  92. Waste Disposal Compliance Consultant
  93. Freighter Docking Safety Technician
  94. Shuttle Operation Supervisor
  95. Shuttle Maintenance System Technician
  96. Deuterium Extraction Unit Safety Associate
  97. Deuterium Conveyance Upkeep Technician
  98. Deuterium Containment Monitor
  99. Food Storage Monitoring Associate
  100. Sovereign Entity Diplomatic Liaison 

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